I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
