he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
