Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
BRING THE BAGELS
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
