i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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