Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize