Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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