Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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