1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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