id be glad to
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize