Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
