It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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