new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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