My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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