When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
