and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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