Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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