i don't like sucking hair
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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