My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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