they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
