glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
