Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize