so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
