I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
