i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
