I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize
