i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize