It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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