doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize