yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
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