he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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