didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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