I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
