This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Still dying that you shit outside
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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