there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
