I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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