I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
