On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
