ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it because I queefed?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
