how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
