Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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