did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
do nipples grow back?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
