i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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