She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
