I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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