evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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