Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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