My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
