just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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