Non-Jews are for practice
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
