He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
