I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
