how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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