Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
