i think i have herpe
just one?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
