how can u be prego again
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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