i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
