I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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