god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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