Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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