for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
