You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
God, I missed his penis.
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