why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
