I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
