my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
